Wedding and anniversary guides

What you write in an engagement card should congratulate them warmly on the engagement itself, then say you're looking forward to the wedding: short and genuine beats elaborate.

There's no strict rule: close family and friends often mark an engagement with a small gift, but it's optional, not expected.

A favourite photograph, the day they got engaged or a message only you could write makes a lovely starting point. Choose a detail that means something to the couple, then a keepsake they…

The structure that works in almost any ceremony, why it works, what most couples get wrong, and how to keep the words safely after the day.

What you write in a wedding card should be short, warm and sincere: congratulate the couple, add one thing that's about them, and stop there.

How much you spend on a wedding gift has no set figure: it depends on how close you are to the couple and what you can comfortably afford, not a rule anyone should feel bound by.

Wedding gift etiquette is simpler than it sounds: use the couple's registry or wishlist if they have one, give either a gift or money, and don't worry too much about exact timing.

Enter how many years they have been married and get the British material, the name where the year has one, and whether it qualifies for a message from the King. Nothing to sign up for,…

The traditional first-anniversary material is paper. Light, modest, made to last only if you choose carefully. What to give, why paper is the tradition, and where to shop in the UK.

The traditional second-anniversary material is cotton, separate threads woven into one cloth. What to give, why cotton is the tradition, and the keepsake ideas that fit year two.

Three years is leather. Cloth has rules about what it may be called, and so do shoes - but a leather wallet is neither, and we could not find an instrument that covers it.

The fourth is the year the lists fall out. Debrett's gives flowers and fruit; some gift lists say linen. Which is which, and what to give once you know.

Wood is the traditional 5 year anniversary gift in the UK, and the first major milestone on the anniversary list. Six gift ideas that fit the tradition without leaning on novelty, plus…

Year one is paper and year fifty is gold. This guide follows Debrett’s British list, explains where the competing “modern” list differs, and covers the years with rules that affect your…

A gift idea for every milestone year, in one pictured table: the traditional UK material and a present that fits it. Below the table, what each material means and a keepsake idea for…

The 5 year wedding anniversary is the wood anniversary. Wood is the British traditional material for year five, and the modern list gives silverware.

The UK traditional list pairs a material with each anniversary year (paper, wood, tin, silver, gold and more) building from fragile to enduring as the years pass.

What you write in an anniversary card should be warm and personal: reference the years together, then say one true thing about the marriage, not a generic line.

The 10 year wedding anniversary is the tin anniversary, diamond on the modern list. It's the first double-digit milestone, the first one people throw a party for. What it means, and what…

Fifteen years is crystal - a word with four legal categories behind it, where a piece sold as crystal need not be lead crystal, and where the classic gift comes with a storage caveat…

Twenty years is china. Other materials on this list are regulated on what they may be called; china is regulated on what it may release - and a plate and a cup are not measured the same way.

Twenty-five years married is the silver wedding anniversary, the first of the big milestones and halfway to a golden. What silver means, how much to spend, and the 25th anniversary gift…

The 30th wedding anniversary is the pearl anniversary in the UK, diamond on the modern list. What the milestone means, how much to spend, and the gift ideas that suit thirty years together.

Thirty-five years is coral - a living animal, partly protected under CITES and partly not, depending on the species. What is listed, what is not, and the version of the tradition that…

The 40th wedding anniversary is the ruby anniversary: deep red, hard-wearing, and rare enough to mean something. What the ruby tradition is, how much to spend, and the 40th anniversary…

Golden (50th) wedding anniversary gifts mark the headline milestone: fifty years married. The material is gold, the gifts run bigger, and the right one earns a place on a wall. What to…

A portrait of the two of you, from a photograph you already have. Exactly how it is made, what you see before you pay, and when you should commission a human painter instead.

The 10 year wedding anniversary is the tin anniversary. Tin is the British traditional material for year ten, aluminium is the usual alternative, and the modern list gives diamond jewellery.

The 25th wedding anniversary is the silver wedding, and silver is the traditional symbol for the milestone.

The diamond wedding anniversary is the 60th year of marriage, and the first that qualifies for a message from the King. The rule as GOV.UK states it, the application deadlines, and the…

Sixty-five years qualifies for a message from the King. It is also the anniversary where the British list gives no material at all - which is not what the rest of the internet will tell you.

Seventy years of marriage is the platinum wedding. It qualifies for a message from the King, and so does every year after it - the part of the rule most guides truncate.

A golden wedding is 50 years of marriage, the 50th anniversary, and its material is gold.

A ruby wedding is 40 years of marriage, the 40th anniversary, and its material is ruby.

The 30th wedding anniversary is the pearl wedding: pearl is the traditional symbol, and the modern list gives diamond.

Online applications open five weeks before the anniversary. For post, the official sources give two different answers, and both are set out below. There is also a table of which wedding…

Find words for the card, understand an anniversary tradition or choose a gift that fits the couple. Start with the occasion.

Short, direct answers to the wedding and anniversary questions people ask: card wording, gift etiquette, and the anniversary symbols by year.

Put in your wedding date and every job gets a finish-by date, from the first guest list to the night before. Tick off what is done and print the rest on A4.

Type your guests, with the people who should sit together on one line. Set the tables and seats, and get a first draft of the seating plan to print.

Set the start time, put the speeches in order and list the day, step by step. Every time is worked out for you, ready to print for the venue and the ushers.

Put in a wedding date or a date of birth. We show the next anniversary or birthday that gets a message from the King, and the first day you can apply for it online.

Put in your wedding date and see how many days until your next anniversary, which one it is, and its material on the British list.

How many bottles of fizz for the arrival and the toast, how much wine with the meal, and roughly how many drinks across the evening. Every number is yours to change.

Give each tier a shape and a size, choose a portion, and see how many slices the cake gives and whether it feeds everyone.