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The wedding & anniversary reference

The wedding

The etiquette, the spend, and the words: what a guest is expected to do.

Blank cards, envelopes, a fountain pen and ivory ribbon arranged on a table.

For this occasion

Start with the couple's wishes and a comfortable budget, then find the words for their card. There's no need to overthink it: these guides cover the practical decisions a wedding guest makes, including ways to turn a shared photograph or wedding date into a personal keepsake.

The pages run from the questions guests ask, such as what is expected, what to spend and what to write in the card, to gift pages for the couple themselves. If you know them well, a portrait made by AI from their photo can be a gift that is theirs alone: you see a free watermarked preview before you pay, and nothing prints until you approve it. If a photograph from the day already exists, it can be printed as it is.

A guest's part, in order

Most of what a guest gets wrong is timing and logistics, not the present. In the order it comes up:

  • Reply to the invitation promptly and plainly. A maybe that hangs on other plans is harder for the hosts than a no.
  • If there's a wedding list, buy from it soon after the details arrive. Debrett's advises exactly that.
  • Go by what the invitation says about children and plus ones, and ask politely if it isn't clear.
  • On the day, arrive at least thirty minutes before the ceremony. If you bring a present, label it and ask where presents go.
  • Afterwards, send the hosts a short thank-you note. Debrett's calls it a gracious gesture.

And write the card properly. It outlasts most presents, and it costs nothing.

Brown leather shoes, car keys and a furled green umbrella on a doormat inside a front door.

The short answers

Wedding gift etiquette

Wedding gift etiquette is simpler than it sounds: use the couple's registry or wishlist if they have one, give either a gift or money, and don't worry too much about exact timing.

How much to spend

How much you spend on a wedding gift has no set figure: it depends on how close you are to the couple and what you can comfortably afford, not a rule anyone should feel bound by.

What to write in a wedding card

What you write in a wedding card should be short, warm and sincere: congratulate the couple, add one thing that's about them, and stop there.

How to write wedding vows

The structure that works in almost any ceremony, why it works, what most couples get wrong, and how to keep the words safely after the day.

And after that

The stage that follows this one is the first years: Paper, cotton, leather, wood. Where the year-by-year list comes from and what it asks of you.

Written by Craig Fearn, Printed Weddings. Last updated .